Super Soldier Summit

This year's Super Soldier Summit was this past weekend. As a poor person who can't manage to get together the money to pay her hiked taxes, I obviously couldn't afford to go. And am a little bummed by it. So many others have stepped foward, and it would have been nice to just come, sit and listen.

I'm not going to say "maybe next year" but finances never seem to get better for me to afford something so expensive.

There are still a lot of things for me to talk about, there always will be, but physical confirmation happened recently and I need to record it.

One the right side of my mouth I have a cavity problem. I've already had to have one tooth pulled, and the one next to where it was has a bad cavity. And tends to get infected. It got infected this last time so badly the flesh around it was extended and the infection just kept coming out. When I finally managed to fight it off (we have dental insurance but can't afford the dentist) it left bad damage there. A big flap of skin that was no longer attached just annoyed the living hell out of me.

One morning a few weeks ago and my mouth was full of blood. Blood was all over my lips, etc. As I recently  had switched tooth care tactics and had even seen one small cavity  heal, I thought at first I had regressed and my mouth was bleeding all night. I brushed it out, cleaned up, did the fish oil, etc that I do, and went about my day. 

I was aware I had been going to work again, but everything is such a background hum for me since they caught on I was remembering that all I can now is reach for the feeling.

But you know how it is - when there's a sore in your mouth, a cavity, or just something wrong you automatically pick at it with your tongue. So after a bit I realized, wait a minute. The skin area is gone, and it's sore as if it's been sliced away.

I checked - and yes, it was a clean slice. Very clean. My mouth had been worked on.

Oh, the cavity is still there. But that skin is not. And after that the healing rate of my mouth went back to where I've been  having it: no bleeding gums, etc.

It it not physically possible for me to have bitten it off, and if I had it would have been ragged. Not a clean slice.

So that, hey. They fixed my mouth a little bit.

I've heard of other accounts where people in the program and alien slaves get fixed up because their handler decides giving their pet a shot might be a good thing. Never thought it would happen to me.

So maybe I'll do some research on that phenomenon for a while. See what I can dig up.

I had this to say once ...

April 13, 2010

The rollercoasting memory-recall method I developed around 2000 and was teaching heavily from then until just past 2003? Apparently the psychology community is now claiming to have developed this in 2003 and is starting to practice it with patients.

Irritated? You betcha. Yet another reason why I am reminded how glad I am to have gotten away from the hate and negativity of the Otherkin community.... I *do* remember how many of them were people about to get their psychology master degrees. I also remember how many of the couple of dozen were honest enough to say, "Hey. I'm just a human and I'm here for educational and/or informational purposes.

___

So I'm reminded even more to keep to myself and not share what I know much.

Something happened with my gumline and jaw recently. I haven't had time to tell the story, but I shall eventually.

A History of the Otherkin

A long, long time ago I was a very devout Otherkin.

This was before I knew what UFOlogists knew, or MILABS, or anything of the kind. And I believed with all my heart and soul in the Otherkin subculture movement. I would have laid down my life to help those people I thought of as brethren.

Well, things happen. Negative things, positive things.  For example. I watched others in the community wave their peacock feathers "I was a princess in another life" and butt heads over who should rule this or that, or who should be the supreme princess. Or prince. Or in one guy's case the sole heir to the universe that was somehow also elected as the supreme leader through an intergalactic election.

But my inner guides said not to say anything about who I was; just to say "yes I am this" and let it go for the truth would win out and the REAL others would see who I truly was on their own. Some did, with mixed reactions. One actually got on his knees and swore fealty. Another who was also claiming to be "this" started a flame war at me - silly upstart bard.

Mostly there were other things: backstabbing things. Petty politics things where I was talked bad about by the very people I would have done anything to protect - accused of doing things I never did. Called names. Talked down about. One guy tried to take advantage of me, and when I told him no and dared to speak out got me ostracized. My life was hell so long as I stayed with them, and I couldn't quite get that this was because I was going against my natural shamanistic flow. These days I know how power works, and your place in the universe. And I still marvel at how my life literally did a 180 degree turn for the good when I walked away from the Otherkin forever, saying "You are lying to yourselves, and I cannot be one of you any longer."

Their final malicious act: to take my new husband to the side to "have an intervention" because they were concerned that he was with me. They wanted us to break up. No one knew we were married yet - I had convinced him to keep it a secret. Surprise to them. And I found out months later at least two of those same people were members of the Otherkin thing. So it goes.

I was no innocent, but I was certainly trapped by a circumstance of my own making. There are a lot of good people in the Otherkin movement - for some reason I only met them briefly and couldn't recognize good people for bad.  I thank my lucky stars I finally woke up and got away. Because when looking into the UFO culture I saw a 100% match between what the scientists were finding out vs. what the Otherkin were remembering on their own.

Still, I did take a lot of good away from those years. It wasn't the Otherkin that taught me to trust people less, but it was the Otherkin that taught me how to predict what someone will do next. Like when the first LOTR movie came out and I said "You watch. We're going to get people joining up saying they're Tolkien elves, but I'm telling you this is going too far. Tolkien's elves were a metaphor." I was ignored, pointedly. And sure enough, they came.  That event I think was my first eyeblink at this fabricated nonreality.

I have a necklace a true dragon - the only true dragon I met out of the dozens claiming to be dragons reborn in the Otherkin community - that I cherish. When she gave it to me I was at a point in my life where the memories of my other side were very strong and just getting on the edge of painful. And I felt like no one would ever know who I truly was. I would always be invisible.

It has the Chinese royal seal on it: peacock, dragon. She handed it to me and said, "This is for you, because when I look at you this is what I see."

I stood there holding that necklace and the tears just fell down my face.  And to this day it's my special thing, guarded carefully.

Another good thing I brought out of being with the Otherkin is the Allthing. It's a yearly gather I hold near to wherever I live at the time. I have a website dedicated to it that I usually ignore at http://thingstead.wordpress.com/. The old website used to be http://anotherotherkin.tripod.com - but it no longer fits. Still, when I think to deal with Thingstead I'll hung up the old website and pull things over. Today I pulled some things over from the old Book of Shadows section.

And found on Google a history of the Otherkin where my old website is mentioned.

I am not in the least bit interested in reading the history, although it's clear I am mentioned somehow. Not when I think of all the false talk that happened behind my back; the lies, manipulations, etc. I can't trust that history to be true.

And I am so tired of lies.

I don't wish to discuss the Otherkin here any more. Ever. But they were so much a part of my life, I wonder if I can make that possible.